Marriage has always been a tough pill for all bachelors to swallow.... They say " Women worry about their future till the time they are married, men worry after they marry" ....There are a hundred more (maybe 1000s more) such sayings with the same message (After writing this line, I did a search on similar lines as to why marry and none came up :))...
With all the wisdom in the world to back us up ( with net educating the not so educated ones)... I still cant figure out the answer to one simple question.... Why do men marry???
I have introspected...Progeny... its a given... Love... yes definitely... the fear of being alone late in life... another yes... but are these reasons enough for a man to lose all the freedom and peace of mind FOREVER???...
I think marriage is that like that beautifully decorated... multi layered...chocolate flavored... 2 year-old pastry that a man is soooo tempted to eat... once he has had a mouthful he knows that it was a bad idea altogether.... also he shits like crazy...
Having put great deal of thought into it... over multiple occasions... over the last three years... I had reached nowhere... until a recent short pseudo-bachelor stint opened my eyes...
I was away from my family for almost 3 months... it made me realize that the freedom and peace of mind I felt I had experienced in my bachelor days was an imaginary realm I had created to sooth my psyche...the ever so unfulfilled human urge that the grass 'IS' greener on the other side... even though I walked, fell and got dirty in the shitty green swamps on the other side...
Although, theoretically, I should have experienced the same freedom and peace of mind; I was lonely and miserable... the very same argument that pissed me off a week earlier became the honey sweet voice of my wife I missed and something I was looking forward to (we still argued and fought)... I didnt do anything productive in these 3 months for me as an individual... each day I would get up and think of what 'we' would need and then work towards it... slowly building my 'nest' so that my family can join me soon... All through this 'nest-building' I was thinking of what things would impress my wife...
So going back to the main topic... why do men marry??... I think its for the sense of purpose... The one thing I lacked in my bachelor days was this sense of purpose... when I lived aimlessly... the freedom I felt was this lack of purpose... the peace of mind was this lack of purpose...
Irrespective of what you give as a reason for a man marrying a woman... Progeny...Love...or Companionship... it all boils down to defining the purpose of a mans life... and it is worth it!
Having put great deal of thought into it... over multiple occasions... over the last three years... I had reached nowhere... until a recent short pseudo-bachelor stint opened my eyes...
I was away from my family for almost 3 months... it made me realize that the freedom and peace of mind I felt I had experienced in my bachelor days was an imaginary realm I had created to sooth my psyche...the ever so unfulfilled human urge that the grass 'IS' greener on the other side... even though I walked, fell and got dirty in the shitty green swamps on the other side...
Although, theoretically, I should have experienced the same freedom and peace of mind; I was lonely and miserable... the very same argument that pissed me off a week earlier became the honey sweet voice of my wife I missed and something I was looking forward to (we still argued and fought)... I didnt do anything productive in these 3 months for me as an individual... each day I would get up and think of what 'we' would need and then work towards it... slowly building my 'nest' so that my family can join me soon... All through this 'nest-building' I was thinking of what things would impress my wife...
So going back to the main topic... why do men marry??... I think its for the sense of purpose... The one thing I lacked in my bachelor days was this sense of purpose... when I lived aimlessly... the freedom I felt was this lack of purpose... the peace of mind was this lack of purpose...
Irrespective of what you give as a reason for a man marrying a woman... Progeny...Love...or Companionship... it all boils down to defining the purpose of a mans life... and it is worth it!
"The most depraved type of human being ... (is) the man without a purpose."
--Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
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