Of Husbands and Men!

Marriage has always been a tough pill for all bachelors to swallow.... They say " Women worry about their future till the time they are married, men worry after they marry" ....There are a hundred more (maybe 1000s more) such sayings with the same message (After writing this line, I did a search on similar lines as to why marry and none came up :))...

With all the wisdom in the world to back us up ( with net educating the not so educated ones)... I still cant figure out the answer to one simple question.... Why do men marry???

I have introspected...Progeny... its a given... Love... yes definitely... the fear of being alone late in life... another yes... but are these reasons enough for a man to lose all the freedom and peace of mind FOREVER???...

I think marriage is that like that beautifully decorated... multi layered...chocolate flavored... 2 year-old pastry that a man is soooo tempted to eat... once he has had a mouthful he knows that it was a bad idea altogether.... also he shits like crazy...

Having put great deal of thought into it... over multiple occasions... over the last three years... I had reached nowhere... until a recent short pseudo-bachelor stint opened my eyes...

I was away from my family for almost 3 months... it made me realize that the freedom and peace of mind I felt I had experienced in my bachelor days was an imaginary realm I had created to sooth my psyche...the ever so unfulfilled human urge that the grass 'IS' greener on the other side... even though I walked, fell and got dirty in the shitty green swamps on the other side...

Although, theoretically, I should have experienced the same freedom and peace of mind; I was lonely and miserable... the very same argument that pissed me off a week earlier became the honey sweet voice of my wife I missed and something I was looking forward to (we still argued and fought)... I didnt do anything productive in these 3 months for me as an individual... each day I would get up and think of what 'we' would need and then work towards it... slowly building my 'nest' so that my family can join me soon... All through this 'nest-building' I was thinking of what things would impress my wife...

So going back to the main topic... why do men marry??... I think its for the sense of purpose... The one thing I lacked in my bachelor days was this sense of purpose... when I lived aimlessly... the freedom I felt was this lack of purpose... the peace of mind was this lack of purpose...

Irrespective of what you give as a reason for a man marrying a woman... Progeny...Love...or Companionship... it all boils down to defining the purpose of a mans life... and it is worth it!

"The most depraved type of human being ... (is) the man without a purpose." 

--Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Turning 30

Turning 30 was more un-eventful than I expected... my birthday creeped upon me  and I didnt make much fuss... but after answering the 200 odd facebook wishes and a a few other more personal ones, I set out to figure if this was as important a milestone as I had thought it to be...

From the first looks... 30 is the new 20 for men... sadly biologically it remains the 'deadline' 30 for women... and all over the net I found women's blogs, misleading others as to what they should have done by the time they were 30... but for men - sadly or gladly I didnt find much material.. just a few bucket-lists that the authors conveniently moved to their 40s lists if they couldn't achieve it...

All this research points to one thing - 30 isn't a milestone age for men... if you think you are nowhere and you are 30  - you still have time before you figure out your life...

But since I am 30 today and I feel that I need to mark point of achievement in my life, I am borrowing a bucket list of things to do for men from esquire...

Total tally:
COMPLETED:34
CANCELLED: 11
40's LIST: 30

Considering that I've done over 50% of the stuff already, I think I have a great chance to complete the bucket list before 40- fingers crossed...

I look forward to adding more inputs into the list - which I believe is predominantly American and might not cover all aspects of aspirations a man from India might have... please do comment and I will definitely add to the list if it is unique...

PS - All points edited inline or moved to the 40s bucket list or cancelled (due to inherent married and old man problems)

The 75 Things Every Man Should Do

All the escapism a man might resolve to experience while living on this planet. And then some.

No. 1: Play rugby- (40's list).

No. 2: Repair an appliance - COMPLETED.

No. 3: Fly the red-eye from Vegas- (40's list).

No. 4: Fly a Cessna - (40's list).

No. 5: Make a list of seventy-five things you want to do before you die. It's hard - (40's list).

No. 6: Fast for three days. Drink water-COMPLETED.

No. 7: Drive the Great Ocean Road in southern Australia. Or the Pacific Coast Highway- (40's list).

No. 8: Make a perfect omelet - COMPLETED.

No. 9: Drive by yourself from coast to coast-COMPLETED - on a different coast.

No. 10: Recognize the accomplishments of others- COMPLETED.

No. 11: Do a flip off a diving board. Nail it - COMPLETED.

No. 12: Leave yourself a letter in a library book. Look for it twenty years later- (40's list).

No. 13: Watch a bad movie so often that when you see it by accident... COMPLETED - Gunda - Mithun 

No. 14: Toboggan, aggressively- (40's list).

No. 15: Scuba dive- (40's list).

No. 16: Drink mescal in Mexico- (40's list).

No. 17: Cultivate a reputation- COMPETED- Thanks to OMR.

No. 18: Learn three to four chords on the guitar, until you can play one song- COMPLETED.

No. 19: Live in a hotel suite for a week- COMPETED.

No. 20: Milk a cow. Drink that-CANCELLED- not gonna happen - too gross.

No. 21: Build a fence- (40's list).

No. 22: Carry a totem in your pocket- STUPID - NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

No. 23: Help someone dig out- COMPLETED.

No. 24: Pick an animal. Something cool like a wolverine. Go see it in the wild- (40's list).

No. 25: Shoplift- COMPLETED- way too early to admit :P.

No. 26: Throw a real party-COMPLETED.

No. 27: Live outside the homeland-COMPLETED.

No. 28: Start something that scares you-- (40's list).

No. 29: Choose a word or a phrase and actively work to never use it again- - (40's list).

No. 30: Eat mussels in Bruges - COMPLETED - April 2010- Escargot soup.

No. 31: Break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer-CANCELLED.

No. 32: Cook the same thing (over and over) until you are known for it- COMPLETED.

No. 33: Overspend-COMPLETED-COMPLETED-COMPLETED-COMPLETED.

No. 34: Have a threesome- CANCELLED.

No. 35: Quit something you love- (40's list).

No. 36: Take care of someone else's three-year-old for a day- COMPLETED.

No. 37: Get very good at a sport that isn't a sport- (40's list).

No. 38: Listen to war stories-COMPLETED.

No. 39: Tell war stories-COMPLETED.

No. 40: Write someone else's life story without mentioning yourself- (40's list).

No. 41: Sing in public-COMPLETED.

No. 42: Sell everything you don't need. Once- (40's list).

No. 43: Play golf at Carnoustie.- (40's list)

No. 44: Play chess until you beat someone you shouldn't, then quit forever- (40's list).

No. 45: Give up your seat-COMPLETED.

No. 46: Kill, dress, cook, and eat wild game-COMPLETED.

No. 47: Attend the funeral of someone you didn't know that well-COMPLETED.

No. 48: Take a vow. Keep it-COMPLETED.

No. 49: Eat a six-course meal that you prepared- (40's list).

No. 50: Live at a high altitude- CANCELLED.

No. 51: Spend some time working for tips- COMPLETED.

No. 52: Overeat for a week-COMPLETED.

No. 53: Make a movie, even a short one- (40's list).

No. 54: Give a panhandler all of your money- (40's list).

No. 55: Make beer, wine, or moonshine- (40's list).

No. 56: Read Lolita- (40's list).

No. 57: Have sex in a body of water-COMPLETED.

No. 58: Ride a horse-COMPLETED.

No. 59: Eat congee. Eat haggis. Eat tongue. Eat kidneys. Eat brain. Eat testicles.-CANCELLED

No. 60: Walk twenty miles. Bring water.-CANCELLED

No. 61-63: Go to the desert. Take long-lasting drugs. Drink water.CANCELED

No. 64: Watch television for twenty-four hours uninterrupted-COMPLETED.

No. 65: Save something from the dump-COMPLETED.

No. 66: Climb something you are afraid of-COMPLETED.

No. 67: Get a manicure- (40's list).

No. 68: Eat a two-course meal that you grew- (40's list).

No. 69: Get a deep-tissue massage-- (40's list) - COMPLETED.

No. 70: Sleep outside for a week- (40's list).

No. 71: Put a hundred bucks on a long shot. To win- (40's list).

No. 72: Go to Paris. Tell no one where you are. Stay there for two weeks-COMPLETED

No. 73: Raise a dog-COMPETED.

No. 74: Peg the speedometer-COMPLETED.

No. 75: Bungee jump- (40's list).

A settled life is all what I dream of... but damn this success... keeps taking me places....