How the new OAP changes will evolve the market

Today we have over 23000 families waiting assistance/support for their kids. Another 8000 families currently receive some form of support. New changes to OAP will put money in the hands of all families and make the support payout purely based on age of the child instead of level of support needed. One thing is clear - the support dollars are not going to meet all needs of our children - based on the current costs - most of us will have to spend out of hand.

The changes to the OAP have frustrated all the families who were receiving funding. The lack of need based assessment will leave a majority of families helpless as the cost for each of the services are different for each child and many (or most) families will be left to pay out of pocket to continue service at same level.

The (forever) waitlisted families are split over the changes - some happy that finally they are going to see some funding come in and some are worried looking at the plight of the current families who are protesting lack of funding. They are thinking about if it would have been better to have waited and got full support instead of a small funding in hand right now.

What I believe is being missed out is the outright privatization of the autism services market.

The autism services market has been pretty much a govt funded market. The central intakes and all related services receive funds from the government. The private services are expensive offshoots targeting the high income families.

With the new changes the money now rests with the families. All existing services are now figuring out how to deal with the change in dynamics where each family is going to be the customer rather than a lottery winner and demand more and try to stretch their dollars. There will be staff layoffs at these service centers and new private businesses will sprout up to attract these family dollars - mostly staffed by those laid off.

These new businesses will offer lower costs than the existing organizations. Initially lower operation costs would be at the cost of quality of services and staff. They will compete with the existing service providers - who will have significantly higher costs because of their inherent high cost of operation and high paid staff.

Every family will have to choose between the high quality and expensive services and cheaper privatized offering. Eventually the supply/demand forces will act. The quality and cost of privatized services will improve and the services will be available at the price tags affordable for families within their funding limits.

All this will play over the next few years and along with the families, one of the most impacted would be the therapists and other support staff who will have to fit into a more challenging and cash strapped market place.

At the End of the Rainbow!

While reading a haunting post on an immigration failure (about how a family - well settled in Dubai, migrated to Canada and lost it all - read it here ), I started thinking if  I have accidentally painted a way-too-rosy picture of my immigration story to my friends and family. I may have come across as very happy and satisfied with my move - which I absolutely am - but, I may have not told about the hardships I've been through, because, plain and simple, I don't need anybody's sympathy and that's MY preference. 

Note : This post is not in any way intended to scare away or invite immigration to Canada - this is just my experience with the brand new life I started in Toronto, Canada. From this post you can adopt some strategies I followed to ensure a successful settlement in a new Country. This is not applicable to short/long term stays abroad but to permanent migrations.


Note 2: This post was written in 2014 - October - and forgotten midway - Publishing in May 2018 - some timelines and statuses are a bit old but content is still just as relevant. I will add updates in different highlights.

Journey so Far

We have been in Canada for 1 year 6 months. We are expecting our second child. The pregnancy has been fun. I can get her Häagen-Dazs in the middle of the night. With the free medical system, my wife's gynec orders UltraSound scans every 2 weeks and we have been monitoring the baby's development closely. My wife starts her 1 year maternity leave next month during which she will get paid by the government.

I bought a 1300sq.ft - 3BHK flat in April and a car in July - both financed and cost me around 30% of my monthly income in EMIs. I've managed to save up around 8 months of emergency funds (in case disaster strikes). Apart from my home and car loan - which are both building equity as I pay them, I have no other debts. Both of us are insured. Financially, I have achieved some stability.

We feel the quality of our lives is much better than our experience in India. Quality may mean differently to every reader of this post. In my context, I am referring to the general happiness of my family. To those who associate quality of life to career, comfort, house-hold help or any other criteria, please read through the post and assess how you would rate yourself had you been in my shoes.

Why Canada?

This is something, I've been asked many times. Feels like the questions I've heard in many job and college interviews - why do you want to work/study for XYZ? - with the tongue in cheek actual answer - Gee, cause you have an opening and I want a job/ or I got qualifying entrance marks for your college - but we are taught to answer 'better' and we go about with absolute crap like, "your ABC program is awesome" or "this profile suits/challenges me" or some other BS.

Quiet frankly, I am in Canada because while planning immigration, this was the only country we qualified for. We went to the consultant with the actual intention of migrating to Australia but our immigration file didnt score the required qualifying points. Canada was a suggestion by the immigration consultants and we took it - the decision I am really glad I made.

Immigration 101

Immigration is the painful process of plucking your life out of a comfortable and safe nest you have built and replanting in a foreign land.

This definition is painfully true and we have seen many re-plantation failures after we came to Canada. The risk is very real.

I was aware of this risk before I migrated, and I still decided to go ahead with this because of the support mechanism in place for me and my family back in India - our parents. 

Migration Strategy 1 - Work and Career - mitigating major risks 

An important reason behind the decision to take the risk in migration was that I was barely 3 years into my post MBA career. The worst case scenario of restarting from scratch put me just 3 year back in my career - which to be honest isn't that big a deal - if you trust you are good enough to catch that up with your work.

Almost all new immigrants start their careers from scratch in Canada. The main reason being, every job in Canada requires Canadian experience. Its a stupid catch 22 situation, with the only work around being to work as interns or volunteer for free. This is a very normal part of migration and one needs to be prepared to start from scratch - I was.

After getting my PR in June 2012, I had 1 year to make the entry into Canada. So I had 1 year to plan my migration.

My main concern was finding a Job. Not being able to find a good job is the number one immigration failure risk. This is where Wipro's global presence came to my rescue. I started reaching out to global heads and HRs in the Canada/US geography about possible roles that I could be suitable for. Around October - almost 4 month after I started my hunt, I got an offer for a short 3 week visit for a Proof-Of-Concept engagement. We completed the landing in Canada in November. This engagement got extended and I am still part of it.

Migration Strategy 2 - Leave your past behind - its not a bed of roses

When talking to other Indian folks who are new to Canada, I often hear about their pain when they think of their life back in India. It is true, we are so spoilt in comforts in India - a Bai who cooks/washes/cleans - a Plumber comes to fix the leaks - a lot of cheap help available when you want to move in/out heavy furniture or fridge etc.

In Canada, the wage gap between professions is so low that all professions are equally dignified and well paid. Actually a good plumber/carpenter/handyman may make much more than a Senior Bank Manager. Well this fact makes these Professionals' services very expensive to employ. Almost all new comers become expert plumbers/electricians/carpenters within a few years in Canada, You count on friends to help move heavy stuff and on advise on fixing that leaky pipe in the kitchen.

I remember assembling a bed, in the middle of the night, after coming back late from the office to a newly rented flat - cursing my decision to come to Canada. That was one of my low points in my stay here. I have learnt to put my comfortable past behind and plan all endeavors well in advance. To be honest, it feels awesome when you assemble a complex furniture piece looking at the manual, or when you fit the new light fixture, or when you fix the blocked toilet. Its been a new experience with every new problem I face and the funny incidents that have happened when I tackled them are a different blog series by themselves.   

Migration Strategy 3 - do not envy thy neighbor - this is about your journey not THEIR'S

In the last 2 years I've been given loads of advises  - "buy a car/house", "take a vacation", "live in a different area", "take insurance" etc. The people who gave advises were very genuinely concerned about our well being and were offering their own lessons to learn from on how important those advises were.

I have never ignored or blindly followed any advise. I have listened and made notes of all of them. Each advise was correct and appropriate from the point of view of the adviser. I prioritized and followed each advise when I was in a position to accept the advise which in most cases was almost a year later. 

I did not buy a house and bought a apartment instead because it made more financial and operational sense for me considering I have very young kids. I plan on buying a house when my kids are older and need the extra space.

I bought a 4+1 Bedroom house in 2018 - when my kids were older and we needed extra space.

Everyone will tell you its impossible to live without a car in Canada. They are not right. Its just that the comfort of having a car makes it difficult to think of life without one. I made it through 1 year using just the public transport. I agree it was difficult but it made financial sense - the insurance for a new driver in Canada is in tune of CAD 5000 per annum irrespective of old/new car. Instead of focusing on cars, I focused on finding residence as close as possible to a public transport system which was cheap enough to afford. This benefited me three folds - one financially and the other by making my wife independent and finally helping us get our bearings in the new country. I finally bought a car when I could afford to - and instead of buying a second hand - bought a new one - long term equity building.

We have 2 cars now because we both need the mobility. Also our insurance rates have come down drastically in the last 3-4 years ( now I pay for 2 cars less than what I paid for my first year car insurance for 1 car).

Insurance is all about what you are worth financially to your spouse and then paying to protect it in case you have sooner-than-expected departure. Insurance in Canada is expensive and very difficult to get. I didnt waste money on it till I was worth something to my wife, It made financial sense to insure myself only after we had loans to pay out. 

Migration Strategy 4 - Build a new support structure - find your Batman/Batwoman

One of the most important part of you, that you leave behind, when migrating - is the social support structure you built your whole life - be it a friend you confide in, drinking buddies, parents or close relatives. 

It might seem that all this is not that important, but trust me you will miss the little things and small help the most. The realization first hit me hard when I was late from work - stuck in a subway and there was no one to pick my kid from the daycare. A simple little thing as knowing a trustworthy person to pickup a child from bus and keep safe for a few minutes may be what makes you lose sleep when you do not have any support. We also need to think about emergencies - what if you get hurt or fall extremely sick or worse. The reliance that your mom will come with home made curries to take care of you is all obsolete. 

The good news is that almost all here are on the same boat - trying to make social connections. The closest friends we have here are the folks we met randomly on the elevator or chatted with at a party or at work. You will find most people are very responsive. Invest in friends. Know your neighbors. Attend community meetups. Offer help.

I know that today that if I run into any issues or emergency - l have someone to call/rely on. 

Conclusion...

Running after rainbows of others success will land you nothing but envious pain. Make decisions which make sense to you financially and logically. Keep emotions out of the way.

When you feel low - try to remember the actual reason you decided to migrate - be it money, quality of life, kids future or something else. Focus on that.

Of Husbands and Men!

Marriage has always been a tough pill for all bachelors to swallow.... They say " Women worry about their future till the time they are married, men worry after they marry" ....There are a hundred more (maybe 1000s more) such sayings with the same message (After writing this line, I did a search on similar lines as to why marry and none came up :))...

With all the wisdom in the world to back us up ( with net educating the not so educated ones)... I still cant figure out the answer to one simple question.... Why do men marry???

I have introspected...Progeny... its a given... Love... yes definitely... the fear of being alone late in life... another yes... but are these reasons enough for a man to lose all the freedom and peace of mind FOREVER???...

I think marriage is that like that beautifully decorated... multi layered...chocolate flavored... 2 year-old pastry that a man is soooo tempted to eat... once he has had a mouthful he knows that it was a bad idea altogether.... also he shits like crazy...

Having put great deal of thought into it... over multiple occasions... over the last three years... I had reached nowhere... until a recent short pseudo-bachelor stint opened my eyes...

I was away from my family for almost 3 months... it made me realize that the freedom and peace of mind I felt I had experienced in my bachelor days was an imaginary realm I had created to sooth my psyche...the ever so unfulfilled human urge that the grass 'IS' greener on the other side... even though I walked, fell and got dirty in the shitty green swamps on the other side...

Although, theoretically, I should have experienced the same freedom and peace of mind; I was lonely and miserable... the very same argument that pissed me off a week earlier became the honey sweet voice of my wife I missed and something I was looking forward to (we still argued and fought)... I didnt do anything productive in these 3 months for me as an individual... each day I would get up and think of what 'we' would need and then work towards it... slowly building my 'nest' so that my family can join me soon... All through this 'nest-building' I was thinking of what things would impress my wife...

So going back to the main topic... why do men marry??... I think its for the sense of purpose... The one thing I lacked in my bachelor days was this sense of purpose... when I lived aimlessly... the freedom I felt was this lack of purpose... the peace of mind was this lack of purpose...

Irrespective of what you give as a reason for a man marrying a woman... Progeny...Love...or Companionship... it all boils down to defining the purpose of a mans life... and it is worth it!

"The most depraved type of human being ... (is) the man without a purpose." 

--Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Turning 30

Turning 30 was more un-eventful than I expected... my birthday creeped upon me  and I didnt make much fuss... but after answering the 200 odd facebook wishes and a a few other more personal ones, I set out to figure if this was as important a milestone as I had thought it to be...

From the first looks... 30 is the new 20 for men... sadly biologically it remains the 'deadline' 30 for women... and all over the net I found women's blogs, misleading others as to what they should have done by the time they were 30... but for men - sadly or gladly I didnt find much material.. just a few bucket-lists that the authors conveniently moved to their 40s lists if they couldn't achieve it...

All this research points to one thing - 30 isn't a milestone age for men... if you think you are nowhere and you are 30  - you still have time before you figure out your life...

But since I am 30 today and I feel that I need to mark point of achievement in my life, I am borrowing a bucket list of things to do for men from esquire...

Total tally:
COMPLETED:34
CANCELLED: 11
40's LIST: 30

Considering that I've done over 50% of the stuff already, I think I have a great chance to complete the bucket list before 40- fingers crossed...

I look forward to adding more inputs into the list - which I believe is predominantly American and might not cover all aspects of aspirations a man from India might have... please do comment and I will definitely add to the list if it is unique...

PS - All points edited inline or moved to the 40s bucket list or cancelled (due to inherent married and old man problems)

The 75 Things Every Man Should Do

All the escapism a man might resolve to experience while living on this planet. And then some.

No. 1: Play rugby- (40's list).

No. 2: Repair an appliance - COMPLETED.

No. 3: Fly the red-eye from Vegas- (40's list).

No. 4: Fly a Cessna - (40's list).

No. 5: Make a list of seventy-five things you want to do before you die. It's hard - (40's list).

No. 6: Fast for three days. Drink water-COMPLETED.

No. 7: Drive the Great Ocean Road in southern Australia. Or the Pacific Coast Highway- (40's list).

No. 8: Make a perfect omelet - COMPLETED.

No. 9: Drive by yourself from coast to coast-COMPLETED - on a different coast.

No. 10: Recognize the accomplishments of others- COMPLETED.

No. 11: Do a flip off a diving board. Nail it - COMPLETED.

No. 12: Leave yourself a letter in a library book. Look for it twenty years later- (40's list).

No. 13: Watch a bad movie so often that when you see it by accident... COMPLETED - Gunda - Mithun 

No. 14: Toboggan, aggressively- (40's list).

No. 15: Scuba dive- (40's list).

No. 16: Drink mescal in Mexico- (40's list).

No. 17: Cultivate a reputation- COMPETED- Thanks to OMR.

No. 18: Learn three to four chords on the guitar, until you can play one song- COMPLETED.

No. 19: Live in a hotel suite for a week- COMPETED.

No. 20: Milk a cow. Drink that-CANCELLED- not gonna happen - too gross.

No. 21: Build a fence- (40's list).

No. 22: Carry a totem in your pocket- STUPID - NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

No. 23: Help someone dig out- COMPLETED.

No. 24: Pick an animal. Something cool like a wolverine. Go see it in the wild- (40's list).

No. 25: Shoplift- COMPLETED- way too early to admit :P.

No. 26: Throw a real party-COMPLETED.

No. 27: Live outside the homeland-COMPLETED.

No. 28: Start something that scares you-- (40's list).

No. 29: Choose a word or a phrase and actively work to never use it again- - (40's list).

No. 30: Eat mussels in Bruges - COMPLETED - April 2010- Escargot soup.

No. 31: Break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer-CANCELLED.

No. 32: Cook the same thing (over and over) until you are known for it- COMPLETED.

No. 33: Overspend-COMPLETED-COMPLETED-COMPLETED-COMPLETED.

No. 34: Have a threesome- CANCELLED.

No. 35: Quit something you love- (40's list).

No. 36: Take care of someone else's three-year-old for a day- COMPLETED.

No. 37: Get very good at a sport that isn't a sport- (40's list).

No. 38: Listen to war stories-COMPLETED.

No. 39: Tell war stories-COMPLETED.

No. 40: Write someone else's life story without mentioning yourself- (40's list).

No. 41: Sing in public-COMPLETED.

No. 42: Sell everything you don't need. Once- (40's list).

No. 43: Play golf at Carnoustie.- (40's list)

No. 44: Play chess until you beat someone you shouldn't, then quit forever- (40's list).

No. 45: Give up your seat-COMPLETED.

No. 46: Kill, dress, cook, and eat wild game-COMPLETED.

No. 47: Attend the funeral of someone you didn't know that well-COMPLETED.

No. 48: Take a vow. Keep it-COMPLETED.

No. 49: Eat a six-course meal that you prepared- (40's list).

No. 50: Live at a high altitude- CANCELLED.

No. 51: Spend some time working for tips- COMPLETED.

No. 52: Overeat for a week-COMPLETED.

No. 53: Make a movie, even a short one- (40's list).

No. 54: Give a panhandler all of your money- (40's list).

No. 55: Make beer, wine, or moonshine- (40's list).

No. 56: Read Lolita- (40's list).

No. 57: Have sex in a body of water-COMPLETED.

No. 58: Ride a horse-COMPLETED.

No. 59: Eat congee. Eat haggis. Eat tongue. Eat kidneys. Eat brain. Eat testicles.-CANCELLED

No. 60: Walk twenty miles. Bring water.-CANCELLED

No. 61-63: Go to the desert. Take long-lasting drugs. Drink water.CANCELED

No. 64: Watch television for twenty-four hours uninterrupted-COMPLETED.

No. 65: Save something from the dump-COMPLETED.

No. 66: Climb something you are afraid of-COMPLETED.

No. 67: Get a manicure- (40's list).

No. 68: Eat a two-course meal that you grew- (40's list).

No. 69: Get a deep-tissue massage-- (40's list) - COMPLETED.

No. 70: Sleep outside for a week- (40's list).

No. 71: Put a hundred bucks on a long shot. To win- (40's list).

No. 72: Go to Paris. Tell no one where you are. Stay there for two weeks-COMPLETED

No. 73: Raise a dog-COMPETED.

No. 74: Peg the speedometer-COMPLETED.

No. 75: Bungee jump- (40's list).

A settled life is all what I dream of... but damn this success... keeps taking me places....

Steve Jobs Dead...

Just saw his 2005 speech at SU again... somehow every time I watch that I feel motivated to do something different... but what???

Whats there in my life that I would change?

Writing this...I'm 2 beers down on a Thutrsday afternoon... sitting at home... doing silly uploading stuff(work)... dont want any better offer... I get paid thru the nose so cant find any other work... am gonna be a father so family life settled...

Whats that list that everyone puts as a checklist of life... family... work... life...

What would I change???... Why would I change???... Damn you Mr. Jobs... I'm hungry... I'm foolish but don't know whats on the Menu :(... better associate with my fairy-god-mother and tell me which direction to take...

Just managed to tune my guitar... for the time being I think I will learn how to play it and be the next Santana :D

PS: Steve and Fairy-God-Mother.... guitar... are you sure???

A ride to remember!!!- Part 3.2- Euro Trip!!!

Search for 'Metro':

Once out of the awesome ride from Paris to Lille... here we were in a scene right out of In Bruges... Eerie looking railway station... platforms lined with ice... very few people... all dressed in black... and we began our search for Hotel Metro which was supposed to be 100mtrs from the Station... no one was able to help us... all who we asked for directions avoided us like beggars and the most we could get out from a few who tried reading the address was "Non Anglais"... damn these French... how can an address be English or French???

Finally we split up with a few of us guarding the luggage and the rest as search party... Pele knew how the hotel looked (thanks to google street view) and was able to find out the hotel... We (Me, Pele and Thatha) checked in and took a deep breath... Out came the mugs from all the bags (vital travel companion for any red blooded Indian) ... time to do our 'business' with plenty of water to wash...

By noon we were all hungry and set out on a mission to find food (cheap food)... after walking for hours in the streets of Lille we came to a conclusion that we were grossly misled on the cost of food... We cursed Master with all our heart... Dejected we were walking back when I spotted a Turkish Djoner (pronounced Doner) kebab store.... damn it was cheap and with just one order our tummy was really full... and best part was that it was only for 5 euros... (This later became our staple diet)...

Soon we were back in our hotel discussing( and boozing) on how bad the things could have turned out...

IESEG:

We had reached on a Saturday and on Sunday we went around Lille which is a very small town... we walked to our college (for the next 3 months) and figured out the easiest route from the hotel...

On Monday we attended our first lecture... and damn the class was almost 70% female... all really really good looking (HOT HOT HOT!!!)... I dont think any of us payed much attention to the lectures that day... we left the college early in search of accommodation.. which was completely fruitless as all our contacts were French and were infected with the 'Non Anglais' syndrome... we came back and spent most of the remaining day talking about our classmates (:D)...

Finally by Wednesday we had given up on lodging as after countless calls no one was ready to lend us living space for less than 6 months... finally we went searching for Helene Guinard... (supposed to be our international relations contact for IESEG)... expecting an old hag Thatha voted out from going to her and finally me and Pele went ahead to meet her... damn she was beautiful plus she talked pretty good English (which was a much needed respite after heating all the 'Non Anglais' from hottties)... she arranged Hostel accommodation for the three of us ... on our way back we discussed on how can such high percentage of women in such a small area be so damn hot???... we have beautiful women in India but damn this concentration in Lille could beat the hotness level in a Mumbai Celeb party...

"Pok deleel":

Once we finalized our accommodation details and paid the money (insurance, deposit etc) to the rental agency (which we would have a hard time getting back later)... we embarked on our journey to our home for next 3 months... We boarded the subway... (I keep thinking on how is it feasible for a small town like Lille with no industries or any other support mechanism to afford to run a Subway system)... Our next stop was 'Port de Lille'...

It was almost the last stop and since all station names were being announced, we got a bit relaxed ... I found a seat and planted my ass for some rest... there was a sudden hustle from Pele saying its our stop... but I remembered hearing clearly 'Pok deleel'... when I told him this.. he pointed me at the board in the station... Port de Lille... confused and startled at the same time we 3 rushed out... later we understood that in french all words with 'r' in them are pronounced as 'khhhrrr'... just like you have something stuck in your throat and you wanna cough it out...

Just outside the subway station was our hostel... I took a single room and the other 2 a double room on the same floor....our rooms were awesome... with a beautiful big window and really good looking furniture... cooking stoves (with heater coils) and attached baths...

We all started unpacking and settled in... our wing was almost entirely Indian... we met some really cool guys (who had been staying there for over an year) who told us a lot about all the necessary information (where to buy booze, food, women, college parties, college parties and women) ... finally the bad feeling that had set-in over the previous few days was washed over and I was looking forward to the next day at IESEG....